Humor Poet Gifts

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"The Eggsorcist"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Phoenix

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Kultural K9's.

Barman In Love.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Hamlet in the craft shop.