Humor Poet Pillows

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"The Eggsorcist"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Phoenix

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Barman In Love.

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Kultural K9's.

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."