Humor Writers Pillows

'We're selling videos of the wild wild neighborhood party. . .'

Polly txt speak

Zombie standup

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Puss in cement boots"

The First Fire Stick

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

Why Superman flies himself