Satirical Poet Pillows

'Democracy... one man one vote... I'm a man and I've got the one vote what's the problem?'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

German School

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

"What are you doing?"