Satirical Songwriter Pillows

"Next song's called Dirt-poor Boxcar Man which I wrote partly in the VIP lounge at JFK in my private limo on the way here tonight."

"Hows the protest song coming along Bill?"

The New Modern-Day Lament.

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Gee, thanks pal."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Reverse psychology

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"