Humorous Gift Pillows

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Fakir being hurt by acupuncture.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It is my place!"

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

Traffic calming ahead.

Bagel problems.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

Solitaire card shark.

Tinder

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Chilli Quartet

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

'This milk smells funny.'

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Nail Bar

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

What are you doing? - 'I've set up an e-commerce site.' - 'What are you selling?' - 'Signed copies of my old boxer shorts.' - 'Washed £7. Unwashed £23.' - 'Yeah, baby. Market forces.' -

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

Garden Centre - "...she thinks she's getting a mink coat!"

Helicopter as a clothes drier

"I'm not letting down my hair, I'm just overdue for a trim."

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

A.I. Newreader Malfunctions. . . or does it?

CATS ONLY!

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

'We use dialup since it gives us more time to meditate.'

"I have this 'I love Susie' tattoo on my chest and I married Doreen yesterday!"