Funny Gift Pillows

'We use dialup since it gives us more time to meditate.'

Beach con-man.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Ball as water-melon.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Solitaire card shark.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Hissy-fits for sale.

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

Evil Pusskins #9

'This milk smells funny.'

'That's typical as soon as you snap on the light, they disappear.'

'Dang...too fast food!'

'She tried diet after diet - the, at last, we hit on something that works . . .'

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

What are you doing? - 'I've set up an e-commerce site.' - 'What are you selling?' - 'Signed copies of my old boxer shorts.' - 'Washed £7. Unwashed £23.' - 'Yeah, baby. Market forces.' -

'You've been looking a little scrawny lately.... Hey!— You're not missing another rib, are you?'

Garden Centre - "...she thinks she's getting a mink coat!"

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

An old man with a ball and chain attached to his zimmer frame

'First time fly fishing?'