Humorous Gifts Pillows

Solitaire card shark.

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

Traffic calming ahead.

Bagel problems.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

Tinder

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Chilli Quartet

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

'This milk smells funny.'

Nail Bar

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

What are you doing? - 'I've set up an e-commerce site.' - 'What are you selling?' - 'Signed copies of my old boxer shorts.' - 'Washed £7. Unwashed £23.' - 'Yeah, baby. Market forces.' -

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

CATS ONLY!

A.I. Newreader Malfunctions. . . or does it?

"I'm not letting down my hair, I'm just overdue for a trim."

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

Helicopter as a clothes drier

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

'We use dialup since it gives us more time to meditate.'

Everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go...

"I have this 'I love Susie' tattoo on my chest and I married Doreen yesterday!"

"Yes, I still wear my Harvard ring. It helps when I slug someone."