Humorous Gift Finder Pillows

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

Beach con-man.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

How Amazon was invented

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'You reek of crackers.'

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Traffic calming ahead.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

Solitaire card shark.

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Forget those itch creams, do what I do, just put your butt down on the carpet and scoot around the room.'

Caricatures priced by how much they look like you.

Hissy-fits for sale.

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

Tinder

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Evil Pusskins #9

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"Tell me... how is it that a simple holiday ribbon and bow can cost $45?"

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"