Unique Gift Finder Pillows

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

How Amazon was invented

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'You reek of crackers.'

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

The polar bear's vending machine.

One of a kind.

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

'Forget those itch creams, do what I do, just put your butt down on the carpet and scoot around the room.'

Caricatures priced by how much they look like you.

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"Tell me... how is it that a simple holiday ribbon and bow can cost $45?"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"I have serious doubts about the theory of evolution."

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

Now in Pumpkin Spice!

"My sick friend owns a second-hand store...got any used get well cards in good condition?"

"What should we get your mother for her birthday? - How about travelers' checks?"

New England kit arriving today - "What time's rip-off ?"

'In just three days it's taken two inches off my waistline.'

Eggs to order!

Stalker Sally Doll