Humorous Couples Pillows

'My last boyfriend used to run out of petrol in much nicer surroundings.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Stand-up Romcom

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

"I want to make it with you."

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

'How did you guess? Of course it's rented!'

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

"Yes, we did try to save our marriage. But, then he ran off with the marriage guidance counsellor."

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'And they lived happily ever after - well beyond their means.'

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

"At this point, we're only staying together for the sake of the pets."