Humorist Seeking Nautical Laughs Gifts

'Jackson, I hear you've come up with a sensational design for a new underwater vessel.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'We're drifting apart.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'