Humorist Seeking Nautical Laughs T-Shirts

'Jackson, I hear you've come up with a sensational design for a new underwater vessel.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'We're drifting apart.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'