Humorist Advocate Gifts

'My client pleads innocent due to temporary egomania.'

'What'll it be?'

Ethics exam cheater.

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

Preserve these Wetlands.

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Sonny Bono - Singer/US Congressman.

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

"Welcome to Baby Co. You have some big pants to fill here, young man."

'Well, here it is, but I don't see any pot.'

'Calm down. I heard them say we're just going into town for haircuts.'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

You're right, judge: I don't have a legal leg to stand on. Obviously, I need to lie down in your chambers before I fall over. Why don't you look in on me in a few minutes?

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'

'Isn't this better? I told you we could change things if we just stood up to them!'

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

Fur Coat and Turtle Neck Protest.

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

'Sit down. I'll like to discuss your expense account.'

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

'And we've switched from rats to lawyers because there are some things even rats won't do.'

Ladies-Gents-Whatever

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."