Advocate Of Humor Gifts

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

'What'll it be?'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Preserve these Wetlands.

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"Welcome to Baby Co. You have some big pants to fill here, young man."

'Well, here it is, but I don't see any pot.'

"Go out and play, Norman—it's your job."

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

"I have an overwhelming urge to peck something other than wood"

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

Milk is for wimps.

'And we've switched from rats to lawyers because there are some things even rats won't do.'

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

'Well, Mr. Hefner. Here we are. Hope you're not disappointed.'

'Sit down. I'll like to discuss your expense account.'

"If you would increase my salary you'd feel I'm worth more."

Don't worry Harris, if we do start cutting back you'll be the first to know.

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

"I want you to follow my husband everywhere he goes and nag him."

"Just be grateful that I'm putting the apple in this end...!"

"Yes, I know I told you to diversify."

'My client pleads innocent due to temporary egomania.'

'In ten more years we could retire if we had jobs...'

'You're telling a king to use a number two pencil?'

"Oh they're bred to have three legs."

'I remember when he was with CND.'

Manny from heaven