Advocate Of Humor Pillows

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

'I'm doing my bit to develop a global response as part of Fonterra's infant formula risk management strategy.'

'What'll it be?'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Preserve these Wetlands.

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"Welcome to Baby Co. You have some big pants to fill here, young man."

'Well, here it is, but I don't see any pot.'

"Go out and play, Norman—it's your job."

You're right, judge: I don't have a legal leg to stand on. Obviously, I need to lie down in your chambers before I fall over. Why don't you look in on me in a few minutes?

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

"I have an overwhelming urge to peck something other than wood"

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

Milk is for wimps.

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

Don't worry Harris, if we do start cutting back you'll be the first to know.

'Well, Mr. Hefner. Here we are. Hope you're not disappointed.'

"If you would increase my salary you'd feel I'm worth more."

'Sit down. I'll like to discuss your expense account.'

'And we've switched from rats to lawyers because there are some things even rats won't do.'

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

"Yes, I know I told you to diversify."

'My client pleads innocent due to temporary egomania.'

"Just be grateful that I'm putting the apple in this end...!"

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally."

"I want you to follow my husband everywhere he goes and nag him."

'In ten more years we could retire if we had jobs...'

'You're telling a king to use a number two pencil?'

"Oh they're bred to have three legs."