Humorist Advocate Pillows

'My client pleads innocent due to temporary egomania.'

'What'll it be?'

Ethics exam cheater.

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

Preserve these Wetlands.

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

Sonny Bono - Singer/US Congressman.

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

'Well, here it is, but I don't see any pot.'

"Welcome to Baby Co. You have some big pants to fill here, young man."

'Calm down. I heard them say we're just going into town for haircuts.'

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

"It started as a little harmless tree-hugging and sort of grew from there."

'Isn't this better? I told you we could change things if we just stood up to them!'

Fur Coat and Turtle Neck Protest.

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

'And we've switched from rats to lawyers because there are some things even rats won't do.'

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

'Sit down. I'll like to discuss your expense account.'

Ladies-Gents-Whatever

"If you would increase my salary you'd feel I'm worth more."

'On one hand, I'm ashamed to sell nothing but cheap crap. On the other hand, I'm glad I make a lot of money doing it, so I don't have to buy cheap crap...'