Humor Swimmer Gifts

I don't care if it's a better workout, I'm not wearing ankle weights.

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Guide fish.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

Another hot flash?

'Go deep.'

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

I don't care if you hate that word – I'm hangry.

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

'I'm a Pisces.'

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

Oddly familiar formation.

'Sperm Donor Whale.'

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

A fish wearing scuba gear.

'Ok, that's fine! You have dibs on the big one. I prefer the skinnier ones anyway. They struggle more vigorously which, I think, enhances the taste.'

I think the dolphins are my favorite football team! I'll explain football to you. First, don't worry about the word "tackle" -- It has nothing to do with fishing equipment. And "The Big Tuna" isn't like us -- It's a nickname for Coach Bill Parcels. Touchdown! And 80-yard pass play! I'm confused. It made no sense when they said the quarterback was "going deep."

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

Duck with outboard motor.

Take-A-Break

Dolphin Court

'The hook squad is on its way, Leonard! Don't move!...'

'Synchronised swimming.'

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'