Swimming Humorists Gifts

Take-A-Break

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Guide fish.

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

Shark Chum

Another hot flash?

Fish Farm.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'I'm a Pisces.'

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

Acme Coffee Co.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

The Pole Vault Washing Line

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

"Excuse me....water!!"

Oddly familiar formation.

I think the dolphins are my favorite football team! I'll explain football to you. First, don't worry about the word "tackle" -- It has nothing to do with fishing equipment. And "The Big Tuna" isn't like us -- It's a nickname for Coach Bill Parcels. Touchdown! And 80-yard pass play! I'm confused. It made no sense when they said the quarterback was "going deep."

'Sperm Donor Whale.'

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

A fish wearing scuba gear.