Swimming Humor Lover Gifts

"Down the end and second on your left."

Shark food pyramid.

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

Florida Wildlife - Noodle Fish Special

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

I don't care if it's a better workout, I'm not wearing ankle weights.

"See ya, lefty! Sleep with the humans!"

'Ok, that's fine! You have dibs on the big one. I prefer the skinnier ones anyway. They struggle more vigorously which, I think, enhances the taste.'

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

Take-A-Break

'Synchronised swimming.'

Non-Smoking and Non-Urinating End at Swimming Pool

'Don't move a fin, Dewey! We're gonna talk you through this. We think you might be hooked, but we're not sure. Can you feel a pointy, metallic object in your lip?'

Goldfish Practical Joke: 'Flush me!'

I don't want to be thought of as just another pretty face...

'Are you a football fan?'

'Are you here about the lifeguard job?'

Pool Rules: No Diving, No Splashing, No Walking on Water.

"This neighborhood has excellent schools!"

'I can't help thinking we haven't quite got the hang of phone sex.'

Myrtle learns a fatal lesson about swimming during a certain time of the month.

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

Move it, pal. You're in the lap lane.

"It's not polite to point."

So... Another late night at the office, Huh? I read your Facebook Status... Who's Ariel? I deserve the truth, Arthur.

'Please calm down, Mam. I'm aware of the situation, and I'm doing everything I possibly can.'

"The doctor says I suffer from water retention"

"Well, that may not be the farthest drive I've ever seen...but t sure is the highest!"

A planet like ours - seaworld great whites.