Humor Seeking Gourmands Pillows

Window sign: Tastes just like chicken cafe...open

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

A Club Sandwitch.

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Tartar sauce.

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

"What will change my life?"

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

The cake diet.

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

House of Beans.

Christmas canape?

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'How did you ever get this job, Mom?'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"I'm supposed to be on a science-based diet - but I'm doing my own research."

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

Fast Food

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

'I'll have the porridge...' 'That sounds terrible. I'll have the blueberry pancakes.'

'Buns, rockcakes and paperweights.'

Wine makes me sleepy!

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

Customer being served a pizza with a 'no smoking' topping.