Humor-loving Gourmand Pillows

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

Fast Food

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Cooking with Pierre

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

The mushroom pickers

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"What will change my life?"

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

"Some volcano roll!"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

Holy Pizza

Chef and restaurant patrons waiting outside clinic.

Operating table.

Christmas canape?

"Take Away Food" tramp waiting round corner to pounce

House of Beans.

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

Man eating a bad oyster

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

"...You're featured as a full-page spread."

"That was the last of the O-negative."

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

Very Slow Service

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

'You will eat a fortune cookie very soon.'