Humor-loving Gourmand Pillows

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

Fast Food

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Cooking with Pierre

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

The mushroom pickers

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

"What will change my life?"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

"Some volcano roll!"

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

Chef and restaurant patrons waiting outside clinic.

Holy Pizza

Christmas canape?

House of Beans.

Operating table.

"Take Away Food" tramp waiting round corner to pounce

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

Man eating a bad oyster

"That was the last of the O-negative."

Very Slow Service

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

"...You're featured as a full-page spread."

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'You will eat a fortune cookie very soon.'

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

One day Mike and a handful of other termites happened upon a turkey sandwich,,, after that it was pretty hard to go back to wood,