Humor Philosophers Gifts

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Zenemies.

Optimist

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

Seneca

Human meat.

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"What's it all about?"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Department de Philosophie

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'There are limits to this seriousness, sir!'

"If they figure out how to clone humans, we're screwed."

"I take it you agree that there can be no meaningful thought without the existence of language."

'OK, who's that at the back not clowning around?'