Humor In Philosophy Gifts

'There are limits to this seriousness, sir!'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Zenemies.

Optimist

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Schrödinger and his cat

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Human meat.

Seneca

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"What's it all about?"

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Department de Philosophie

Congratulations! The secret to life is a good cardio workout.

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'Really? -- the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about?'

"I take it you agree that there can be no meaningful thought without the existence of language."

Swiss Referendum