Humor Hound Fans Pillows

'Meet my significant other.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Love a Mutt

"They're comfortable."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Stairlift around cliff face.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"She wishes to range free!"

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Unemotional Support Animal

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Congratulations. It's a chick."