Humor Aficionados Pillows

Don't mess with Connecticut

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

Zen Kitty

Live, laugh, love

"I'm walking the sloth. See you all in a week."

Tarzan & Jane Take Up Square Dancing

"Give me a minute, this is my first time haunting a walk-up."

'They squared the wagons. Can they DO that?'

Pavlov's Dog.

Airplane Seatbelts

'Ready with the implants, nurse?'

'See? I told you he was real.'

Snowman's Dentures.

"Come on...come on...throw it!"

'Trick-or-upgrade.'

'We have one or two reservations about your application to adopt.'

'Uh-Oh. . . Got a flat!'

'I stopped to smell the flowers. Where's my inhaler?'

Short sighted pirates being turned away from a Pilates class.

Naked Morris Dancers.

"Why am I being trained on obsolete equipment?"

"...that isn't your Porsche ignition key. You got that off a tin of corned beef."

'It's the one thing that can always find me...my alumni newsletter.'

Video Horse Shoes.

'They call it the people dance.'

"Well son - they're orthoducks."

'Mom... he said dam again!'

'Remember that summer we coached little league?'

Pregnant woman wearing a 'baby' shirt and a man wearing a 'big baby' shirt.

"Well, there goes the neighborhood."

'Seven birthday cakes a year is playing havoc with your cholesterol.'

"Aren't you getting a little too attached to the lab animals?"

Stormy weather

Taken By Surprise

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'