Human Evolution Gifts

Early Man // Subsequent Guy

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"I just discovered something very interesting. Go down to the river...and you'll see it."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"He likes it."

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Ascent of Machine.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'What's play?'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

Twenty-first century baby walker

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'