Human Society Gifts

"This is a godless world! No only is business not considered a religion, but death threats against tax collectors are illegal!"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Gee, thanks pal."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Now showing, at a University near you...

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Non-Denominational Carols

"Will follow you on social media for food."

The Evolution Of Man.

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"How is it in Russia?"

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Hudibras - 12 - Hudibras encounters the Skimmington.

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

"A grand jury sitting in Terre Haute, Indiana, today handed up an indictment of society."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

"Your Honor, we the jury blame the victim."

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Feel Like A Contributing Member of Society....

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?