Humanities Gifts

'At this point, I'm taking it one paradigm at a time.'

English major will work for food.

Humanities Department

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

National Endowment for the Artless.

'Wholesome, upbeat, worthwhile art? — We leave that sort of thing to the private sector.'

Now showing, at a University near you...

"You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading."

"Do you need art and culture?"

"Numerous complaints have led school officials to investigate this popular teacher for encouraging students to pursue degrees in the humanities."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

The Anti-Agent

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"You're fired."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Good game."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Louis Armstrong

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Gender Equality

Remote control pirate bully