Humanities Professor Gifts

Humanities Department

Ethics exam cheater.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Make a lot of money."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

University Soapflakes

U of Debt

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Now showing, at a University near you...

Made in China

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"I find you can't have too many man caves."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Bearded Leftie.

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."