Hr Issues Gifts

"Unless it's life threatening, don't even bother asking for a sick day!"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

How leaders fail

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'What's wrong now?'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."