Hr Policies Gifts

'Oh yeah, our people will just fall over themselves to get transferred to this office.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Trump leaving

'Yes, can I help you?'

Our Two Parties, Explained

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Roe v. Wade

Think Tank

Economy

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'The recession is over, again.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

Check zombies.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Sybil Obama

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"