Academic Policies Gifts

'I'm sorry, but we simply can't allow you to graduate. Your coursework is complete, and your grades are exemplary, but you apparently failed to attend the group icebreakers during freshman orientation week... which as you know, were mandatory.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Good boy."

Ethics exam cheater.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Eternal Student.

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Pretty Flowers

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Is it that bad?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love