School Policy Gifts

'Is it just me or are the school hall monitors becoming increasingly militarized?'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'They sent me home from school because my lunchbox has a picture of a soldier on it.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Trump leaving

Our Two Parties, Explained

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Roe v. Wade

Economy

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The recession is over, again.'

Think Tank

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Sybil Obama

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Pre-Old Blues

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

survival of the fittest

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

125% tariff in escalating trade war.... ...Mitch realizes that everything he ordered is made in China

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

"Our policy regarding paid vacations is - if you take a vacation, you'll pay for it."

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

Leftie Trump

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

"Elon… We're going to need a bigger chipper." "You got it!"