Hr Strategy Gifts

Organisational Structure

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.