Hr Personnel Gifts

Health & Safety - Getting the Risk Assessment Forms.

Bob's whine cellar.

'Why did you offer the job to this one?'

'Does that mean I don't get the raise?'

Check zombies.

'Your resume says you pay attention to detail, which I would find easier to buy if your fly wasn't unzipped.'

Secretary with revealing filing cabinets.

'I detest the 'TGIF' saying. For me, Monday is just another exciting work day....hoping the weekend will speed by and Monday will start another great work week!'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

"Don't do it! Also, you're fired."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'You'll find this a fun place to work.'

We're having to downsize

'A dozen indictments and no convictions. I'm impressed.'

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

'You've reached Human Resources automated phone service...'

'I thought things were starting to click for me around here, but it was only my knees.'

'I'm sorry Turner, but the buck stops here.'

'Let's begin our meeting. Everybody talk, nobody listen.'

"According to the latest research staff retention is more likely to be improved but improved conditions rather than chaining them to their desks."

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"In these challenging times we all have to make sacrifices. . . And you're MINE."

'Any chance of me getting my salary 'cash in hand'? If you know what I mean.'

"Why did you leave your job as a sparring partner?"

'I'm from your parent company...all you people go to your offices and don't come out until I tell you to!'

'I wouldn't say he walks the walk, but he does crawl the crawl.'

'That's nice, but do you have any qualifications OTHER than enlightenment?'

'Tell me why you want to work here. Tell me why anyone would want to work here.'

'The good news is that I've written you a great reference.'

"Be careful with the ideas you generate during the brainstorming session, lest they result in another round of drug testing."

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of GP morale..."

'How long have I worked here? Since the day they threatened to fire me.'