Hr Strategist Gifts

"Murray's the guy you replaced. He's decided to fight to get his job back."

Impersonnel Dept.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Staff support"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

How leaders fail

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art