Housing Issues Gifts

Cut and Paste.

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

"Since the council started refurbishing to a high standard he's having difficulty letting his rat infested shoeboxes."

"Either the house was built on a flood plain..."

"This so called bedroom tax has really hit a raw nerve with your Sid hasn't it!!"

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

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"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Homeless count.

Eric Adams Caricature

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

House hunting is cruel.

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

Early House Hunting.

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'