Dealing With Housing Crisis Gifts

'We'll never own our own cardboard box.'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

'We do have something in Real Estate for an individual who's willing to starve for a year before turning to the office supplies.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

"Sorry honey, but moving boxes are sold out everywhere because of the rising rents..."

Cut and Paste.

"I think a lot of Log Cabin Republicans had their log cabins foreclosed."

'It's true I'm homeless...that's why I want the loan.'

'My balloon mortgage blew up in my face!'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

"This so called bedroom tax has really hit a raw nerve with your Sid hasn't it!!"

"We're not getting much response on the doorstep."

'The mortgage became affordable when we sub-divided.'

"It surprised me too - I was told it hung over the Greenbelt."

'Housing shortage, what housing shortage?'

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

'Try not to think of it as a BOX, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!'

Luxury apartments coming soon

"Since the council started refurbishing to a high standard he's having difficulty letting his rat infested shoeboxes."

"Either the house was built on a flood plain..."

"I've just had mine repossessed..."

'Why, Grandma. What a spare bedroom you have!'

"It's part of the government's new strategy for housing single parents."

Spare some change... or I will eat the dog.