Housing Gifts

"I would die, but I have a rent-controlled apartment."

'It says right here in your contract, folks: 'Some settling may occur during the first year'.'

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'That's standard with new homes built on flood plains'.

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

"I finally have my very own place where I can do what I want in my parents basement."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Couple begging with sign reading - 'Unable to afford an affordable home, please help'

'As the housing inspector, I'm telling you to install a smoke detector.'

Affordable housing: no vacancy.

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accomodation!"

Unsocial housing.

We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family

'Thing sure have changed. Fifty years ago doctors made house calls.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Un-Cooperative Apartments.'

"Oh, stop complaining! Our partner agencies conducted a full tenant consultation exercise!"

"We've townsized."

'I see you managed to get yourself into sheltered accommodation'

'Okay. But apart from the low ceilings, what did you think of the house?'

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

'You're a single person on benefits with too many rooms - we're downsizing you!'

"Another interesting feature of this apartment is the working fireplace."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

crusties crouched on floor, "We've been squatting here for some time now"

'The price was right but we had to compromise on location.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'