Housing Developer Gifts

Sowing the seeds of property

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

Planning officer has a man in his in-tray: 'In order to speed up the system, I have my own personal member of the public to consult.'

'It's not a house made of straw. It's affordable housing.'

"We need a brownfield site."

"Well one step down from our 'Luxury Executive Mansion' is our 'crap terrace with outside loo'."

"It's called a duplex. With deforestation as it is, it's the future of housing unfortunately..."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

The Computer Bore

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Back to work...

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Friday

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

'I remember when all this was fields.'

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

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