House Training Humorist Gifts

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Three more years of high school."

"I'm working from home today."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"You're not going anywhere, young man, until you probe and release your catch!"

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Everybody passed the 'housebroken' test except for Rover.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

Carpet Cows

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'