House-flipper-heart Gifts

The divorce settlement came through before the sale.

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"You should consider buying."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

"Before this I flipped houses."

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

"I love what you've done to the house."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

God Bless Our Asking Price

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

'Damp. What damp?'

'I'll admit it, the basement is a little damp.'

For Sale/Price Reduced.

What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it. It's going well. So far I've downloaded and categorized every single episode of "Property Brothers" and "Income Property." I had a little setback, though. The hard drive where I thought I'd stored "Curb Appeal" is filled with "Star Trek" instead. You bought that shack seven years ago. Counselor Troi is distracting.

'This one went from curb appeal to curbed.'

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