House Flipper Fan Gifts

'I tried flipping my house, and it flipped me back!'

"Before this I flipped houses."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Biting Slippers.

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Does it come with magnets?"

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

Small Claims Court a man has arrived to a very small claims court not sure of what to make of it

Real estate.

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

Woodpecker Carving Chair out of Tree.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Rep-Tiles.

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

Fur'niture

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'