House Flipper Gifts

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

"There had been a little roof leakage, but you'll notice that it has been corrected."

'Here's a nice little 'fixer upper' for someone handy with money.'

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

Flooded house 'Just like the ad said, just a stone's throw from the water.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"sometimes Eric, you are impossible!"

'If you buy the house, I'll throw in the car for free.'

'Thanks, most buyers say that.'

'It's what we call a 'fixer upper'.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

For Sale/Price Reduced.

I like to find houses and flip them.

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

It's just a shame that the divorce settlement came through before the sale.

'We think the roof maybe could do with some attention.'

Muscular house with a sold sign running over track with years written on it

'Looks like this one needs a bit of work.'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

The first animation.

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"You should consider buying."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

The Overturned Desk - Therapy for writer blocked authors and artists,

"How much for the couch without the potato?"