Property Flipper Gifts

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

God Bless Our Asking Price

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

"You should consider buying."

Oh, I'm not going to live here. I'm just going to flip it.

'Damp. What damp?'

'When that estate agent told you there was, 'scope for improvement' he must've meant, by knocking it down!'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

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"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

The first animation.

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

Real estate.

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

"I love what you've done to the house."

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

Trump falls at Pennsylvania Avenue in Monopoly.