House Flipper Fanatic Gifts

The house market is exploding.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"You should consider buying."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Cheerleaders

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"Do they make my feet look big?"

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

Swimmer

"Before this I flipped houses."

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

The Old Woman who lived in a Shoe's Beachside Place.

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

"I love what you've done to the house."