House Flipper Fanatic Gifts

The house market is exploding.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Cheerleaders

"You should consider buying."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"Do they make my feet look big?"

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

Swimmer

The Old Woman who lived in a Shoe's Beachside Place.

"I love what you've done to the house."

"Before this I flipped houses."

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

"Cool! A 1964 Impala!"