Fantasy House Flipper Gifts

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"You should consider buying."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

Real estate.

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

"Before this I flipped houses."

"I love what you've done to the house."

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

God Bless Our Asking Price

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

'I'll admit it, the basement is a little damp.'

The Horn Of Extra Square Footage

For Sale/Price Reduced.

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

'Damp. What damp?'

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

'This one went from curb appeal to curbed.'