Home Flipper Gifts

'Let's see, you folks need to sell your home before you buy a new one. How about waiting in the lobby for 2 or 3 years.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

"And here's the basement – or as I see it, the poor man's French Riviera."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"You should consider buying."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

On - Undecided - Off switch

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

The Overturned Desk - Therapy for writer blocked authors and artists,

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

"Before this I flipped houses."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

"I love what you've done to the house."

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

God Bless Our Asking Price

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...