Furniture Flipper Gifts

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

Second hand furniture,second hand homes.

'I sold the old lamp in the den on eBay. Then I thought, 'Do we really need this sofa?' Before I realized it, I'd made $4,700!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"The knights of the round accent table"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables